So I really want to be honest and real with you guys all the time and this post is about learning balance and living my truth.
I believe that you have the right to be whomever you want online, and as a blogger that can mean many different things to different people.
If you want to only showcase the positive in your life, the beautiful pictures of the trips you take, your new Fendi bag, or your new Porsche, you should do that because that is your choice.
Honestly no hate from me whatsoever because as I said social media and blogs for a lot of people are their “highlight reel” and a place to show only the most polished put together version of themselves.
People go online and read blogs a lot of time because they want to escape. It’s like becoming engrossed in an episode of Real Housewives and getting so wrapped up Sonja’s crazy life that you forget for an hour about your own.
I get it because I do it too.
However for this blog I want to be real pretty much 100 percent of the time. My goal and what I seek to help others accomplish in life is to become the best possible version of themselves and learn self love in the process.
The bloggers and people whom I admire and relate to the most are the people who share the good, the bad, and the ugly in their lives. The people who are relatable and share the hard stuff that they go through in life as well as the bad.
My Go To Girls for Balance and Authentic Content
One of my favorite people to follow is Jordan Younger from The Balanced Blonde because there is such a huge amount of authenticity to her writing. She has been an open book with others and still manages to share beautiful images of trips she takes and delicious meals. Yet she shares her struggles and I admire that so much.
Brianna Traynor an amazing personal trainer and YouTube personality whom I’ve been coached by personally also has the most amazing YouTube videos where she talks about major realness. She talks about the insecurity of sometime not knowing if you are truly enough, eating disorder struggles, striving for balance and everything in between.
That is what I love because I can relate to their stories and so can many other people.
The reason I wanted to write this post today was because I’ve had a few people comment on my blog or e-mail me saying that as somebody who has suffered from an eating disorder in the past that it is “sick” of me to be giving out health and fitness advice.
I can totally understand their point of view because from an outside perspective I could see this as being a hypocritical site or possible even another sick or obsessive outlet for somebody with disordered eating to use and fuel their illness further.
However I started this site because I used health and fitness as a transformational tool that helped me recover.
My big wake up call so to speak came when I started to volunteer at a local pediatric cancer center. I was counting and agonizing over calories and then working with the sweetest most wonderful children who would do anything to survive and get healthy. That just broke me down, I had my what dad calls a “come to Jesus moment” because in that moment I felt so selfish for what I was doing to my body.
I was purposefully starving myself and these beautiful children would do anything to survive and to just have the opportunity to grow up and be healthy, to be able to do the things I could be doing if I only fed myself and appreciated my health.
I know that an eating disorder is different for everybody and clearly recovery looks different for everybody, but that experience is what made me realize how lucky I was to get the opportunity to treat my body well.
I stopped viewing food as the enemy and let it instead be my fuel.
Exercise was something I stopped doing all together for a while honestly because I hated it. All I cared about was how many calories I burned compared to how many calories I had taken in that day.
However I started slowly doing things I used to enjoy before I got so wrapped in the vicious cycle of any eating disorder, like yoga and hiking in nature watching the sunset over the ocean in beautiful San Diego.
So What is this Balance I am Talking About?
Basically what I wanted to say was that my weight has seen ups and downs. I will disclose as much as possible because if I can reach just one person I will feel like somehow I am contributing to something good in this world. That is what I want.
I talked about how I was at one point way too thin and then I was also overweight as well when I started taking an anti anxiety medication during a particularly rough period in my life. I gained about 50 pounds in 6 months and for somebody who was a control freak who also was in recovery for an eating disorder it was terrifying and my body felt foreign.
I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognize who I saw, and eventually in the last two years I got off of that medication and started this blog and have been determined to focus on just living a healthy and BALANCED life.
The keyword is balanced because I wanted and needed to lose some of the weight that medication made me gain, however knowing my history of disordered eating I knew I needed a healthy and slower approach to doing so because I knew I could take it too far potentially.
How I Learned to Achieve Balance
So I read about nutrition, I read about recovering from an eating disorder, and books about taking a balanced approach to life and exercising, one of which being “Breaking Vegan” by Jordan Younger which honestly became like my bible for living a balanced life because I admire her so much.
I stand here today (well sitting currently, but you get the point) feeling balanced and in control of my life because I have made the active decision to take a balanced approach to my health. Too much exercise is bad, not enough exercise is bad, as is eating too much or not enough, all of these things come under my motto of living a balanced life.
Yes, I love writing about beauty tips and clothes because it is fun and I feel girly and like I get to share a different side of myself of people. I like to talk about products that have helped me, and I vow I would never push anything on anybody or recommend it unless it is something has truly helped me in my life in someway.
I want to real, honest and authentic with you guys and if there is anything you want to know more of, see more of on the blog then just let me know because I want to be as much as possible an open book and more importantly somebody who practices what I preach in terms of balance and living a healthy life.
Favorite Reads About Balance that Changed My Life Include
The Goddess Revolution– this book helps you to reconnect to our truth self and reclaim our love of food and to learn to live a life of balance without guilt or inner criticism.
You Are a Badass– I love this book because it helps you learn to stop playing into the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve balance and do great things in life.
Aim True– This book is about learning to love your body and nourish you soul and I honestly couldn’t love it anymore.
Honestly all of these books are worth checking out because when you fill your mind with positivity you are feeding your soul in the best way possible.
Especially reading the amazing Brittany Burgunder’s Safety in Numbers Memoir where she talks about her own balancing act of being 56 pounds at one point and then finding herself at 221 pounds and how she then found balance in the middle.
It is beautiful and moved me to tears. I highly recommend because she is also just a beautiful and loving person whom we could all learn from.
Thanks for listening to my rambling but I just needed to put that out there.
Sending you all love and light